10th Anniversary

 As February 23 nears as it does every year, this one marks a very special anniversary. It will be 10 years since I held or saw my son for the last time.

I am a grandmom with two beautiful grandkids: 8 yr old Jackson and 6 yr old Brielle. I may be twice a grandmom but I am blessed an infinite number of times because they are beautiful, smart, and caring young people.

 

This horrid Covid-19 has provided a wonderful opportunity to be with Jax and Brie and help them (though they're both so bright they don't need much help) navigate virtual 3rd and 1st grades. Mom Gina and dad Doug teach their virtual classes, high school English and Math respectively, from their actual classrooms, so Bruce and I stay at their house with the kids while school is in session.

Gina is finishing up her last 2 courses and will be awarded her Masters Degree at the end of this semester. To say I'm proud of her for everything she has accomplished doesn't even come close to how I feel. I know I don't tell her that often enough.

I so often wish Jax and Brielle could have known their Uncle Pete and he, them. I know he would have loved to play with them and teach them to surf and snowboard and, of course, fish.

I miss him. I miss his wonderful, oh, so wonderful, hugs.

Losing him still hurts and no amount of time will ever change that.

Friends...

Hi.

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate that you keep in touch whether it's a call, text, email, or just forwarding silly jokes. It was so much easier when we were together at work, seeing each other almost every day and living close enough to get together during breaks and vacations.

I know it must be really difficult and uncomfortable for some people to interact with me. I'm learning who my friends are, the ones who really care. I don't blame people for keeping their distance. Who wants to be "bummed out" on a regular basis? I know I wouldn't look forward to it.

Bruce has been and continues to be a great comfort and support. He never was a father, but he is a wonderful, caring step-father to both of my kids. He's not a mother, though, and I think that only a mother can come close to understanding what I'm feeling. Don't get me wrong. I'm not discounting fathers, but men and women are just different, and there are, tragically, mothers who wouldn't know what I'm talking about and thankfully, fathers who would.

I'm so thankful for LuAnn, because she's been an actual, physical shoulder that is there for me, who understands that mother-child connection. I have long distance shoulders; you, my friends, and Charmilyn, from my college days. It's amazing to me that some of my friends are people whom I've never met. There are communities of people that I have come across on the internet and there are individuals from each that have clearly demonstrated that they are caring friends. I am thankful for all of them.

I have tried to be strong all my life because it has so often been expected of me. You know that I am not a very demonstrative person, that I don't usually express my feelings and this has been a very difficult, but necessary letter for me to write.

Love, hugs, and a very heartfelt "Thank you, my Friend",

Reggie