A Difficult Decision - June 18, 2010

I'm sitting here at the computer and Token is quietly resting in a doggy bed at my feet. I look down at him and he looks so peaceful now. My son gets off work at 6:30 so I scheduled the appointment for 7.

We adopted Token from a local shelter, an adult whippet that was picked up as a stray, so we really don't know his true age, but a good guess would be anywhere from 12-15, and maybe even as old as 17.

We've seen a very gradual decline over the past few years, but the past few days have been a total crash. We had him to the vet yesterday afternoon where he experienced the 3rd and worst seizure in 4 days, and it was witnessed by our vet. It took quite some time for him to recover enough for us to even bring him home, and we knew that we would have to make "the decision" soon.

 

As difficult as this is for me, it is even more so for my son, Pete. Token is "his" dog, and in light of all that my son has been through recently, facing his own mortality, this just brings that painfully to the forefront once more.

I have, throughout my life, had many dogs and have had to make this difficult decision more times than I care to remember. For some, there was no question, no hint of doubt, that it was the "right" time. Others, like Token, are not as clear. He's up and walking... but then he stumbles and almost falls as his legs begin to buckle. He looks up at me... there is sadness in his eyes... am I just anthropomorphizing to justify this decision? My heart aches.

I will stay with him and hold him, as I have those that have gone before. I know it is peaceful, but I also know that I will cry, as I have with all our other dogs and cats, regardless of the length of time we shared together.