Always and Forever - February 27, 2011

During the viewing held on Friday evening and again on Saturday afternoon, there was a brief prayer service led by Ginny, one of my friends of many years. We then invited people to come up and give us some additional sense of this man we all loved. One of those who spoke was Nancy. Her voice quavered and the paper she held in her hands trembled as she read:

As I search for the words to say today, I close my eyes and picture Pete standing in front of me with those Big Blue Eyes and contagious smile. He would want me to be strong and deliver a message to everyone here of the love he had in his heart for all of you.

Almost two years ago I got a call from Pete that he wanted me to look at something on his arm. I never thought in a million years that call would lead us here. He fought hard and his outlook on life was unwavering.

Three weeks ago I went to Pete's house and cried in his mom's arms until I thought all my tears were gone so Pete would not see me cry. Well, it didn't work. I sat next to Pete and held his hand and started to cry. Pete looked at me and said "I'm sorry this is so hurtful, I just want you to be okay. I want everyone to be okay."

I told him I'd be okay and I wiped away my tears. I sat with him for hours and in between his cat naps we chatted about our lives, our next fishing trip and how he planned on responding to the many people requesting to visit him. He was unable to fulfill all those requests, leaving so many with unspeakable emotions, so many what-ifs and so many unanswered questions. Pete would not want anyone to feel that way, so I pass on to you Pete's simple math: with every negative there is a positive. So share that funny story, that vacation you took with him or the way only he could make you smile.

As I sat next to him his last night among us I spoke of all the funny stories about him on Facebook and all the love and prayers people were sending his way, then placed my hand over his heart and asked God to please give us a miracle or set him free of this pain. I gave him a kiss or two or three and told him I loved him always and forever and that everyone loves you.

Although I never had the opportunity to walk down the aisle and marry Pete before God my heart has been married to him for 15 years. Our lives took different paths but our hearts never did. I am blessed to Love and to be Loved by such a humble, courageous, giving and loving man for all these years. We now have a beautiful angel looking down on us.