An Open Letter - February 10-11, 2011

I have received messages from so many of Pete's friends that I'm going to take this opportunity to address some of the questions and concerns that have been broached. I would love to invite everyone to come visit Pete, but we would have to move to one of the high school athletic venues to accommodate that many people. Pete has such a generous heart it is difficult for him to turn anyone away, so I'm going to have to step in and say, for now, we're going to have to limit his visitors to family and "extended family" members: the Votras and Tarnowskis, Roddie, Domingo, Because Pete is still on a chemo regimen his immune system is so dangerously compromised that what would be a minor infection, viral or bacterial, to a healthy person can prove devastating to him.

First I'd like to thank you for reaching out to Pete and to me and I hope that you understand what I'm going to say and please share it with your and Pete's friends.

I am amazed at the kindness, prayers and caring thoughts being sent by so many people. Right now is a very difficult time for Pete, both mentally and physically. He tires very easily and though I know he would love to have all of his friends stop by to cheer him, it would put an immense strain on him. He has gotten so many texts, emails and FB messages it is, as you suggested, overwhelming.

As you relate what I've written here to your friends, please also do the following and urge them to do it in turn. Tell them something that you have been meaning to say to them but just haven't gotten around to saying. Let them know that you value their friendship and thank them for being a part of your life.

You are certainly not being grim or negative, you are being human. You are looking into the face of the very uncomfortable truth known as mortality. To hear the word "hospice" conjures up some pretty frightening things, but when I was caring for my mother my experience with hospice was anything but frightening. There was a calming strength imparted by those involved, a gentle touch to guide us along an often difficult road. No one can tell us how long we will travel along that road, but we can never, will never, abandon HOPE.

Continue to send positive thoughts, wishes and prayers. Keep in touch... I know he would really enjoy seeing you and all of his friends but right now that would just be too taxing for him. Perhaps when he is feeling a bit stronger.

Thank you for being Pete's friend. I'm certain that he values your friendship very much.