Well, he's feeling pretty good. Friday was a bit of a problem - he described it as feeling like he had a bad hangover - terrible headache, dizzy, fuzzy, achy (of course I couldn't relate to that feeling, right?) so he didn't go to work. Saturday was much better and since its inventory time he didn't have to go in until 2 PM, so that gave him even more time to recoup and get back to normal.
Sunday is his day off, so back to regular hours yesterday. Inventory continues today, so he was out the door before 5 AM and plans on going fishing on his boat with a couple of his buddies this afternoon since he'll be getting off early.
I've noticed that he's not coughing. Before he started the chemo he had been coughing, the kind that sounds as if there's some congestion and it had been getting more and more frequent. I was getting nervous every time he coughed. The coughing started to subside several days after the first chemo treatment. He coughed less and less frequently each day since and I haven't heard him cough at all the past couple of days. Could this possibly be a good sign?
I asked him if the doctors had told him how far into the chemo they might be able to detect a change in the lesions in his lungs. He said that they told him it could be as early as after the first round, but certainly after the second. If his cough was in any way connected to the cancer then it may be that the chemo is doing its job. I sure hope that's what's happening.
The CT scan is scheduled for Sept 17th, the week after he's completed the second full course of treatments. That's when we'll hopefully be getting some good news.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
2nd Chemo Down - August 19, 2009
Yesterday went well. We were early enough to get to the Holland Tunnel before the rush hour traffic really hit. No trouble weaving through the city traffic and only a short wait at the parking garage. We arrived at the shuttle just before it left.
Up to the 5th floor, signed in and within minutes they called him in for his blood work. Shortly after that the nurse had us in to give updates. There was about 1/2 hr wait before he went in for the infusions; 15 min worth steroid drip, 90 min first med, 90 min second med. The doctor (Dr. K) came in about mid-way through the treatment and went over some things, asked more questions and let us ask questions. She was very calming and caring. In fact, everyone we've dealt with there is so nice. I think about some of the difficult cases they must deal with on a daily basis and I wonder if I would have the fortitude to do it day after day. We were out around 1:30. There was virtually no traffic on the way home.
He napped some of the afternoon. I don't blame him, neither of us slept much the night before and we were up before 4 AM. He went to work this morning. My husband and I stopped by when we were shopping (he's a pharmaceutical tech in a local Costco pharmacy) and he looked like his normal self (not ashen, like he was after the first treatment last week).
Tomorrow we head up to north Jersey to the MSKCC center in Basking Ridge for his Nulasta injection, which is a white blood cell booster. This will be our first visit there.
Thank you to all who have sent their good wishes and prayers. I know they are helping.
Up to the 5th floor, signed in and within minutes they called him in for his blood work. Shortly after that the nurse had us in to give updates. There was about 1/2 hr wait before he went in for the infusions; 15 min worth steroid drip, 90 min first med, 90 min second med. The doctor (Dr. K) came in about mid-way through the treatment and went over some things, asked more questions and let us ask questions. She was very calming and caring. In fact, everyone we've dealt with there is so nice. I think about some of the difficult cases they must deal with on a daily basis and I wonder if I would have the fortitude to do it day after day. We were out around 1:30. There was virtually no traffic on the way home.
He napped some of the afternoon. I don't blame him, neither of us slept much the night before and we were up before 4 AM. He went to work this morning. My husband and I stopped by when we were shopping (he's a pharmaceutical tech in a local Costco pharmacy) and he looked like his normal self (not ashen, like he was after the first treatment last week).
Tomorrow we head up to north Jersey to the MSKCC center in Basking Ridge for his Nulasta injection, which is a white blood cell booster. This will be our first visit there.
Thank you to all who have sent their good wishes and prayers. I know they are helping.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Is It the Chemo? - Friday, August 14, 2009
When Pete came home from MSKCC on Tuesday, he looked to me like someone who had been through a difficult time. He was pale, and though he tried to be "up", it seemed to be an effort, so unlike his usual self.
He said he felt fine and that the chemo was not a problem, but by the next morning he admitted he was tired and chose to stay in bed instead of joining me on our morning walk. He was quiet and rather pensive most of Wednesday, but Thursday morning he said he was fine and we went for our walk around the reservoir.
On our walk he told me that he was again having trouble breathing and that he had not slept well in several nights. It was plain to see that he was tired, as the pace he set was not our normal speed. I'm tall (5'7"), but he's 6'3" and for both of us a good part of our height is leg. Most people I walk with have trouble keeping up with me and tell me I'm a speed walker. One of the reasons that I like walking with him is because I have to hustle to keep up with him. Thursday's walk was more like a stroll.
He passed on the walk again this morning. Again, he didn't sleep well, and said that he thought he had run a slight fever over night. He looked even paler this morning, so I was getting more concerned. He got up when I came back from my walk and I made him a Swiss cheese omelet and an English muffin for breakfast and we sat and talked and drank coffee before he retreated back to bed.
He napped off and on throughout the morning. I had a physical therapy appointment at 1, and when I got back, Bruce and I went to run some errands. On our way home he and I talked about mowing the lawn after dinner, but as we pulled in the driveway, there was Pete on the riding mower, just about finished with both front and back yards (it's about 1/2 acre in size). When I looked at him I was surprised and happy to see that his color was back to normal. He said that he had started feeling better and better as the day went on and so decided the lawn needed some serious cutting.
One of his buddies was coming down for a visit this evening. Pete had called him this morning and said that he wasn't feeling up to taking the boat out, so they were just going to hang out. By the time Domingo arrived, however, Pete was just about done preparing the boat so off they went, fishing poles at the ready.
I'm hoping that these not-so-good days since the chemo were due more to nerves and anxiety than to the actual chemo. Tuesday is the next infusion. That one will take 3 hours, twice as long as the first one. They will repeat the one med and introduce the second, which is the one that reportedly has some not-so-pleasant side effects.
He said he felt fine and that the chemo was not a problem, but by the next morning he admitted he was tired and chose to stay in bed instead of joining me on our morning walk. He was quiet and rather pensive most of Wednesday, but Thursday morning he said he was fine and we went for our walk around the reservoir.
On our walk he told me that he was again having trouble breathing and that he had not slept well in several nights. It was plain to see that he was tired, as the pace he set was not our normal speed. I'm tall (5'7"), but he's 6'3" and for both of us a good part of our height is leg. Most people I walk with have trouble keeping up with me and tell me I'm a speed walker. One of the reasons that I like walking with him is because I have to hustle to keep up with him. Thursday's walk was more like a stroll.
He passed on the walk again this morning. Again, he didn't sleep well, and said that he thought he had run a slight fever over night. He looked even paler this morning, so I was getting more concerned. He got up when I came back from my walk and I made him a Swiss cheese omelet and an English muffin for breakfast and we sat and talked and drank coffee before he retreated back to bed.
He napped off and on throughout the morning. I had a physical therapy appointment at 1, and when I got back, Bruce and I went to run some errands. On our way home he and I talked about mowing the lawn after dinner, but as we pulled in the driveway, there was Pete on the riding mower, just about finished with both front and back yards (it's about 1/2 acre in size). When I looked at him I was surprised and happy to see that his color was back to normal. He said that he had started feeling better and better as the day went on and so decided the lawn needed some serious cutting.
One of his buddies was coming down for a visit this evening. Pete had called him this morning and said that he wasn't feeling up to taking the boat out, so they were just going to hang out. By the time Domingo arrived, however, Pete was just about done preparing the boat so off they went, fishing poles at the ready.
I'm hoping that these not-so-good days since the chemo were due more to nerves and anxiety than to the actual chemo. Tuesday is the next infusion. That one will take 3 hours, twice as long as the first one. They will repeat the one med and introduce the second, which is the one that reportedly has some not-so-pleasant side effects.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
1st Chemo Down, More to Follow - August 13, 2009
The first chemo treatment, an IV infusion of gem/tax (Gemcitabine and Taxatore aka Gemzar and Docetaxel) is done. All went well, he has had no adverse reaction, but the doctors had said that he should not have any problem until perhaps after the second, and even then it may take several treatments before he notices anything unpleasant.
He's got a full calendar of appointments. Chemo on Tuesdays at MSKCC in the city, and then Thursdays there will be CT scans and white blood cell monitoring at their satellite in Basking Ridge, NJ. He was told that this would most likely go on for the next 6 months, so surgery is on hold until then.
My biggest concern is his breathing. We don't really know for sure whether the difficulty is associated with the cancer in his lungs or is it anxiety/weather related since we've had such miserable humid conditions. I'm hoping it's the second.
We switched rooms around. It was good, since it gave all of us something to focus on and keep our minds and hands occupied with something other than the treatments and wondering how things would go, etc.
Since we had to pack up the "computer room" first, store everything from there in the family room, paint what was going to become the "new computer room" and reassemble everything, we've been without internet access for a few days. I have to say the whole thing went very smoothly. The dogs were a bit confused, especially Scrat. I spent quite a bit of time on the floor taking apart and putting back together the computer furniture (too big to fit through doorways otherwise) and poor Scrat kept trying to snuggle up to me or get in my lap or lick my face every chance he got.
But it's done and I'm back to tracking my meals and exercises and spinning the wheel for my points. I just wish everything else in my life was back to normal.
He's got a full calendar of appointments. Chemo on Tuesdays at MSKCC in the city, and then Thursdays there will be CT scans and white blood cell monitoring at their satellite in Basking Ridge, NJ. He was told that this would most likely go on for the next 6 months, so surgery is on hold until then.
My biggest concern is his breathing. We don't really know for sure whether the difficulty is associated with the cancer in his lungs or is it anxiety/weather related since we've had such miserable humid conditions. I'm hoping it's the second.
We switched rooms around. It was good, since it gave all of us something to focus on and keep our minds and hands occupied with something other than the treatments and wondering how things would go, etc.
Since we had to pack up the "computer room" first, store everything from there in the family room, paint what was going to become the "new computer room" and reassemble everything, we've been without internet access for a few days. I have to say the whole thing went very smoothly. The dogs were a bit confused, especially Scrat. I spent quite a bit of time on the floor taking apart and putting back together the computer furniture (too big to fit through doorways otherwise) and poor Scrat kept trying to snuggle up to me or get in my lap or lick my face every chance he got.
But it's done and I'm back to tracking my meals and exercises and spinning the wheel for my points. I just wish everything else in my life was back to normal.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Chemo Begins Tuesday - August 09, 2009
Pete will be going for his first chemo treatment. His father will be driving him to MSKCC. I had asked if I could go also, but he said he wanted to have the one-on-one time during the drive up and back. I told him I'd be on "stand-by" just in case there are any problems.
He's been coughing and not sleeping very well. Consequently, I haven't been either.
We're switching rooms around, moving him into the master bedroom; my husband and I will move into the other bedroom (currently our computer room) and Pete’s bedroom will become the new computer room. All the rooms really need a good, thorough cleaning and we'll be able to do that during the switch. The master bedroom is large enough so that he'll be able to have an area for a couple of sitting chairs, maybe even the futon, so that if he has company they'll have someplace comfortable and private to sit and visit. There are many more reasons why I want to make this switch, but most I hope will never come to pass.
He's been coughing and not sleeping very well. Consequently, I haven't been either.
We're switching rooms around, moving him into the master bedroom; my husband and I will move into the other bedroom (currently our computer room) and Pete’s bedroom will become the new computer room. All the rooms really need a good, thorough cleaning and we'll be able to do that during the switch. The master bedroom is large enough so that he'll be able to have an area for a couple of sitting chairs, maybe even the futon, so that if he has company they'll have someplace comfortable and private to sit and visit. There are many more reasons why I want to make this switch, but most I hope will never come to pass.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
How Do You... ? - August 08, 2009
I wondered how to bring up Advanced Directives, Durable Power of Attorney for Medical Decisions and Wills? I found that the best way was to just sit down with my son and start to talk. As I began, I realized that he suddenly seemed to relax and he told me he was relieved that I had brought it up because he had been thinking about it and just didn't know how to say it to me.
We talked about things that no parent should ever have to discuss with their child. How I did not break down is beyond me. Maybe it's his strength and resolve to fight this cancer with all his might that got me thorough.
I cannot protect him, but I can stand strong with him. I have always been so proud of both of my children. They have grown into beautiful people, inside as well as out.
I just don't understand why this happened to him, to me, to our family?
We talked about things that no parent should ever have to discuss with their child. How I did not break down is beyond me. Maybe it's his strength and resolve to fight this cancer with all his might that got me thorough.
I cannot protect him, but I can stand strong with him. I have always been so proud of both of my children. They have grown into beautiful people, inside as well as out.
I just don't understand why this happened to him, to me, to our family?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Anxious for Chemo to Begin - August 02, 2009
On Thursday while at work, Pete got a call from MSKCC asking if he would be able to come in the next day (Fri) for the biopsy. He called me to see if I would be able to take him. Of course I would!
It turned out to be a needle biopsy, much less invasive than the originally planned laparoscopic biopsy, and did not require an overnight stay. The doctor who performed it assured us that either would render the same information. Results should be in early this week, probably Tuesday.
I want to call them and tell them to hurry up. Start the chemo, don't delay anymore. If the biopsy had been done as planned on Aug 6, the first chemo was to be on Aug 11. Please, please, move the chemo up. Waiting is more than I can stand.
The sooner they start the chemo, the sooner they will be able to operate. Anything to get this going. I know there will be problems with chemo, but this cancer is so aggressive they need to be more aggressive to try to hold it at bay.
I'm trying to be positive and optimistic, but I can't hold it together 24 hours a day. This morning I asked my husband to go with me because I needed to fill my car with gas. We drove around the corner and I pulled into the rear parking lot of the reservoir and parked. We sat there while I cried and he held me.
I still feel like we're in a bad dream and we'll wake up soon and everything will be back to normal. I'm so very much afraid at times and at other times I just feel numb.
Please, God, help us get through this.
It turned out to be a needle biopsy, much less invasive than the originally planned laparoscopic biopsy, and did not require an overnight stay. The doctor who performed it assured us that either would render the same information. Results should be in early this week, probably Tuesday.
I want to call them and tell them to hurry up. Start the chemo, don't delay anymore. If the biopsy had been done as planned on Aug 6, the first chemo was to be on Aug 11. Please, please, move the chemo up. Waiting is more than I can stand.
The sooner they start the chemo, the sooner they will be able to operate. Anything to get this going. I know there will be problems with chemo, but this cancer is so aggressive they need to be more aggressive to try to hold it at bay.
I'm trying to be positive and optimistic, but I can't hold it together 24 hours a day. This morning I asked my husband to go with me because I needed to fill my car with gas. We drove around the corner and I pulled into the rear parking lot of the reservoir and parked. We sat there while I cried and he held me.
I still feel like we're in a bad dream and we'll wake up soon and everything will be back to normal. I'm so very much afraid at times and at other times I just feel numb.
Please, God, help us get through this.
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