The call to rally is for naught and we must recognize the futility to fight on. Our Hope is that Pete will find the courage now to heed a much different and an even more frightening prospect, one that asks him to take leave of this life and embrace what comes after.
My beautiful baby, one of the miracles of love who was given to me almost 36 years ago, will be leaving me but I do not know when. Patches of raised and blotchey skin cover the right side of his head, areas of red, black and white. The right side of his face is cruelly distorted, his eye painfully swollen and caked with fluid that has leeched out and dried to a yellow crust. The entire right side of his face is distorted and his breathing is more difficult because the right nostril is now closed. My eyes see this horror but my heart can only see the beauty and love and joy that he has given to so many people.
His temperature is now at 101.5, despite our efforts to reduce it. A nurse increased the dosage on the pain pump, but I don't know how much longer this will hold him before it will need to be increased again. It is torture for us to watch his slow decline. Please, please, take him to a better place. He deserves to be at peace.
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Reggie, this is Domingo's wife Jacky. I just wanted to take a moment and let you know that we are thinking of all of you. I am praying for a miracle or that Pete's suffering comes to an end so that he can be at peace. I can only imagine what this experience has been like for you and, as a mother, I am amazed at your unwaivering strength, patience and love. Stay strong and know that so many of us are with you in spirit.
ReplyDeleteReggie, I am so sorry that the prognosis and situation with Pete has deteriorated. I am praying for peace and strength for you and Pete as you enter and go through this next period of Pete's life. In New Zealand we have a saying called Kia Kaha, which means to be strong (in front of your adversity) but also to move forward. During my cancer journey there have been a couple of bleak times where for the first time I could see that death could be a peaceful option. I sure Pete will be enjoying the reduced medical intervention and I hope that he is peaceful and pain-free in the coming weeks. Prayers and positive thoughts coming to you from down-under and Kia Kaha to you and Pete.
ReplyDeleteGod bless Gary
I met Pete through Dave and Trevor Tarnowski and Rob Rivera. I feel very blessed to have Pete as a friend and be a part of my life! Pete is one of the best people I have ever met and/or known! He is strong,friendly,warm,caring,decent,a true gentleman,fun,etc.................Pete is and will always be the example of a great human being!! I lived in Brick NJ for about 5 years and made many happy memories with Pete: fishing,golf,video golf,music,hockey,etc... all around great times! I moved away the end of 2006 for numerous reason to start over and life and the economic downturn have gotten in my way. I have very slowly and at times painfully learned to try to make the best of everything life gives and appreciate the gift of existence! During this much needed late maturation process I was lucky enough to correspond with Pete every month or two by phone. I tried to be uplifting and positive and let him know how special I and everyone who knew him thought he was! I even told him I loved him my own little way, to which he promptly informed me he was only attracted to women, (this was classic Pete and gave me a big laugh). I was lucky enough to stay in touch until sometime around Thanksgiving of 2010. I am very thankful for this, and realize he had to concentrate on the battle for his life! I kept him in my prayers as always and called his cell phone and left messages periodically. I have been blessed with the knowledge that I have taken everything and everyone and even life itself for granted and I am resolved to do much better and be a much better human being! Pete and the example he set has and will help me with this journey! My heart is with you and your mother and sister and all your friends and family! Pete I will keep you in my mind and my heart for all my days: at which time I hope to be with you again!-until then I will try to follow the example you have set and be much better for it!! My mother and father send their prayers and wanted you to know that they thought you were a fine young man and were glad they got to meet you when they visited NJ. Pete it has truely been my honor to have you as a good friend and extended family member!!! You will always be a part of my sunshine! I love you bro! ALWAYS!!! C.Michael Lilly
ReplyDeleteHi Reggie,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but my name is David Morrongiello, one of Pete's old acquaintences from Brick. We were better friends in elementary school, and sort of lost touch throughout high school, but I remember Pete fondly. I also went to TCNJ with your daughter Gina.
Pete and I exchanged e-mails through Facebook before the holidays. We had not had any contact since high school, yet his e-mail to me was so warm, complimentary, and radiating with strength and resolve. I feel fortunate to have had that brief interaction with him after so many years.
One of my favorite memories of Pete was when he came to my house for a birthday sleepover (we must have been around 10). I can't remember who else was at that sleepover, but I distinctly remember Pete being there, and how funny he was. As is typical of young boys that age, we stayed up all night, behaving in a totally obnoxious fashion, and of course got yelled at by my parents several times for being so loud! I think we were making those obnoxious "passing gas" sounds that boys of that age find so funny (....I guess boys of ANY age find that funny). I haven't seen Pete since high school, but I have always laughed at that memory.
Reading your blog, and about Pete's ordeal over the past few years, have literally moved me to tears. I can't imagine the pain a parent must go through to see her child suffer. As human beings, it also makes us come to the frightening realization of our own mortality. To read about of one of my classmates, who is my own age, suffering so deeply, is terrifying and saddening beyond belief.
I have no magic words, I don't imagine anyone does, but all I can do is share with you my fond memory of Pete, and to offer my prayers to Pete and you as his amazing family. You are blessed with a wonderful, strong, caring son. While his time on Earth may have been shorter than we all would have liked, we all can smile at the good memories he gave us.....
Fondly,
Dave
Reggie you do not know me and to tell you the truth neither does your son. I have been a customer at the pharmacy in Costco for years and always looked forward to Pete serving me at the counter. He was very courtsey and caring which shows how you raised your son which you should be very proud of. My parents lost a young son and I am a survior of cancer. I see first hand how this loss affected my parents. A piece of your heart will go with Pete. But, keep in mind that Pete will be in a better place. Unfortunatly, you will be left with the memories of his suffering and illness. Keep strong and keep the good memories alive. I will pray for you and your family and most of all Pete.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
A caring stranger
Dear Reggie. I have had the pleasure of knowing Pete(PJ)since he was a small child. Our children played together for much of their early childhood. Glenn and Craig are so saddened to learn of Pete's battle with this cancer. Dick and I have regularly seen and spoken with Pete at Costco in recent years. He has always been pleasant, caring, kind and helpful. My heart breaks for all of his suffering. Please give Pete our love and know that you and your family are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteReggie, you don't know me. I am a friend of a friend of Pete' s on Facebook, but not a stranger to the impact of losing loved ones to cancer. I know there is little to bring comfort as you take this journey with your son, but please know that there are so many people praying for you all and that God holds you both in his arms through this. Our prayers will not stop!
ReplyDeleteGod bless
dear Reggie...a spirit from your past...Paula V from SRHS...my prayers and spiritual 'offers' are with your and your dear Pete...a very dear friend has made the choice to stop his chemo and board the metaphorical train to its final destination...it has been a relatively 'short' journey for him to this point, a little over a year, but for him and his family and friends it has been the first step towards 'eternity'. I feel the memories of grief and despair (my father died of lung cancer), but I haven't lived your personal 'Hell', and with God's many blessings He will grant Pete 'Peace'...and a Holy passing...my prayers and 'peace' to you and your family...Paula
ReplyDelete